La farce Clotaire Rapaille

La farce Clotaire Rapaille
11 mars 2010
Si vous saviez comment je ressens de la frustration de ne plus avoir le temps d’écrire pour dénoncer la bêtise humaine, c’est incroyable.

La bêtise des reporters sportifs de Mourial (Mou-rial car la ville se moure, oups se meure) qui disent « Halak gagne donc on échange Halak! »

La bêtise de Charest qui ne sort dans les médias que pour nous lancer des spins en une phrase comme dans les pubs « La rumeur court » de fromage pour retourner sur-le-champ se terrer dans sa tanière sans gérer la province.

La bêtise de Gilles Duceppe qui continue de faire de la politique-poubelle en ne faisant qu’insulter ses adversaires en les traitant de tous les noms.

La bêtise d’un de Koninck qui connaît TOUTES les études mondiales qui sont orientés dans le sens des choses qu’il défend mais qui ne connaît AUCUNE des études mondiales qui contredisent ce qu’il défend concernant le ,05 , le cellulaire au volant et les caméras feu-rouge.

La bêtise d’un journaliste qui comme un chien qui a goûté pour la première fois à du sang en veut encore et encore, tellement qu’il déclenche Fatwa par-dessus Fatwa pour détruire la carrière des autres en faisant appel à ses fafans gogauchistes de l’UQAM qui n’ont rien d’autre à faire de leur journée que de répondre à chacun de ses articles dans la section commentaires vu qu’ils font leur bacc en 7 ans entre deux manifs.

La bêtise d’un resto qui veut prôner le fait que c’est le fun d’aller voir un match sportif dans leur installation mais qui fait une pub télé où l’on voit le père et son fils qui changent de place avec la mère et la fille pour pouvoir avoir une vue sur le seul écran de télé de tout le resto qui présente la game d’hockey.

La bêtise d’un média qui attaque systématiquement le gouvernement Harper alors que l’homme à abattre, au sens figuré, est SANS AUCUN DOUTE Jean Charest jusqu’à ce qu’il démissionne.

La bêtise, la bêtise, les bêtises…

Mais une des pires, c’est l’embauche de Coléoptère Racaille et peut-être même plus la couverture médiatique qu’on en fait.

Oui car les médias eux dénoncent l’embauche d’un non-québécois. Moi, je dénonce le gaspillage de fonds publiques.

Notre bon maire Labeaume aime nous dire ad nauseam qu’il fait des affaires. Ça adonne bien mon Régis, moi aussi. Et tu sais quoi? Quand on est en affaires, on essaie le plus souvent possible de prendre nos décisions en se basant sur des faits vérifiés et vérifiables comme un plan d’affaires, un rapport d’étape, une étude marketing. Bref, on tente de prouver ce que l’on avance.

Alors quand Régis nous dit qu’il faut rajeunir l’image de la ville pour attirer les geeks de l’Université de Montréal, que le terme Vieille Capitale est démodé, il se base sur quoi à part sur du vent pour dire ça, hein?

Quelles études prouve tes dires pour en venir à dépenser 300 000 dollars de fonds publiques? Non, nommes-en juste une étude?

Non, mieux que ça. Pourquoi ne pas publier dans les médias, mieux, déposer lors de la prochaine séance du conseil municipal le nom de TOUS les diplômés des HEC qui vous ont dit: « Monsieur Labeaume, moi et ma blonde aurions bien aimé venir vivre et travailler à Québec mais quand j’ai vu le terme « Vieille Capitale », on s’est dit non, d’la marde, on n’ira pas vivre là certain! »

À Radio Shock l’automne passé, j’ai ouvert les lignes pour que tous ceux qui refusent de venir s’installer à Québec à cause de son slogan nous appelent. Nous n’avons eu aucun appel. Bon, je l’avais fait en joke mais quand même: personne ne nous a rejoint ni au téléphone, ni sur le chat ni par courriel.

C’est une pure invention provenant du cerveau de Labeaume ça ok?

Et by the way, pour combler le manque de travailleurs dans la région de Québec, c’est hyper simple. Pas besoin des gens de Montréal: il suffit de couper drastiquement dans la fonction publique basée à Québec. Depuis le temps que les fonctionnaires se plaignent (à tort) de gagner moins que dans le privé, et bien mes chers amis, le privé à plein de jobs pour vous autres justement. Ça fait que Go Charest Go: be my hero!

Aussi aujourd’hui, j’ai entendu le King Spin de Radio X dire que finalement, Rapaille semblait avoir ben de l’allure. Pourquoi il a changé d’idée? Parce qu’en entrevue à Rad-Can, Clotaire a décrit le monde de Québec comme des sado-maso pris entre le désir de se séparer et de demeurer dans le Canada. Et Landry a aimé ça. Wow! Ça fait des années que moi pi mes chums de gars disont ça autour d’une bière dans une taverne! Rien de neuf là!

Mais ce que Landry n’a pas compris, c’est où pensez-vous que Coléoptère a pris ça? De ses longues heures de réflexion? De ses thérapies de groupe avec la crème de la crème de Québec? De ses livres de psychiatrie? Come on les naïfs!

Ça peut ne venir que d’une seule bouche: celle du maire Labeaume lui-même!

Quand un boss engage un consultant, il s’attend à quoi en bout de ligne vous pensez? Qu’il répète le message qu’il veut faire passer à sa place! Et je le sais, je suis un consultant moi-même! J’ai même eu une demande d’une de mes jolies clientes lundi qui m’a dit: « J’aimerais t’engager pour former mes employés parce que quand c’est moi qui leur dit, ça passe moins bien que lorsque c’est une personne de l’extérieur qui le dit! »

Donc, ce qu’elle s’attend de moi, c’est que je dise la même chose qu’elle dit déja à ses employés pour renforcer le message qu’elle veut faire passer!

Alors, vous ne trouvez pas ça bizarre vous que Rapaille utilise le terme « sado-maso » ? Me semble que c’est un terme que j’imaginerais très bien sortir de la bouche même de Régis Labeaume! Pas vous autres?

Donc dites-vous bien que ce que Rapaille a dit aujourd’hui provient probablement d’une conversation tenue avec Labeaume lors d’un souper où le bon vin coulait à flot, non pas d’un travail de réflexion ardue que Clotaire a fait lorsqu’il a colligé les rapports écrits qu’il a consultés lors de son retour à son manoir aux États-Unis.

Finalement, le fameux argument que bof, la ville n’a mis que 75 des 300 000$ pour l’embauche de Racaille est scandaleux. Les autres 225 000$ viennent de où? De nos poches de contribuables aussi. 100% de fonds publiques.

Alors pour ce qui est du code, voici le mien: « Québec déteste le gaspillage et les charmeurs de serpent. »

Maudit que ce genre de bêtise humaine-là me révolte. Et j’aimerais tellement avoir le temps comme avant de vous le mettre par écrit. Mais bon.

On s’en reparle ce dimanche 14 mars 20h lors de Bum Semaine sur RAS Live et en podcast plus tard au RAS Podcasts.

Ici FBI, Feu Bum Intello
RAS HD
Québec

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